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FAA To Ban Plane Crashes

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WASHINGTON—In what officials are calling "a much-needed policy shift," the Federal Aviation Administration announced this weekend that it would ban all plane crashes. . . . According to industry sources, most commercial airlines are planning to fit in as many crashes as possible between now and Jan. 1, when the ban officially goes into effect. (www.theonion.com) 更多...

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tarbaby
phil gibson 0
Come on now........This is just a bunch of BS!........what a waste of time.
sfjasper
How do you land?
shortimer
Apparently FlightAware does not know that The Onion is not a news source.
shortimer
Apparently FlightAware does not know that The Onion is not a legitimate news source.
jwoodley
What a great idea. All pilots should be required to sign a pledge no to crash.
kjc7
kjc7 -1
hahahaha. That's awesome. That will save a bundle on training!
winga34
I was like..what?
winga34
It's the onion...fake
indy2001
indy2001 0
The TV version of the Onion is very funny, but linking to their fake stories is not.
Moviela
Balloons crash land at the end of every flight. I guess they are just going to have to stay up now.
Boatinman
Boatinman 0
I hope people start understanding that this is the onion.

For those who don't get it...it's called sarcasm. It's the onion!

It's about time they did something about those plane crashes!
BoeingFan59
How can you "ban" a plane crash?
dbaker
Troy -- I believe the article is satire!
BoeingFan59
I fell for another joke....what's that 3 jokes in a week? lol
zennermd
zennermd 0
Isn't landing just throwing yourself at the ground and missing? I would say that's a controlled crash every time.
ad8916
What would the evening news talk about?
rwf1001
This is a joke right? Really....come on
BlazingPuppies
Am I reading this right?
smphillipstx
This makes no sense . . .
rwf1001
we're 5 months away from April Fool's day so this REALLY doesn't make any sense!
pwhitcomb
WOW people need to lighten up!! I love The Onion, always good for a chuckle!
linbb
linbb 0
Quit posting crap like this
chazfraser
chazfraser 0
Plane crashes aren't things to joke about...
alphamikeATC
Considering some of the drivle I've seen recently that had the same basic origin, this would not surprise me.
Good for a chuckle though :-))
alphamikeATC
good for a chuckle :-)) - But, there again, considering some of the drivle I've seen recently .............
rwf1001
you must like repeating yourself
dalebr99
Dale Brown 0
I always looked at flight aware as a serious site. There is not a Dam thing funny about that, or the fact you posted on your site. If you want to get into comedy go to Saturday Night Live you moron.
Falconus
Falconus 0
It's the Onion. It's satire; don't take it seriously :-).
joecoastie
joecoastie 0
Come on ! Some of you people lighten up !
tedtimmons
tedtimmons 0
This will never fly...
geoffmartindale
I think this would solve a lot of problems. Of course you'll always get the cowboys who refuse to play by the rules.

=)
kjc7
kjc7 0
yeah but gravity is also a rule. Even the cowboys have to play by that one!
elalcirruspilot
Tyler Gage 0
I thought this was real. Then, I realized all I had to do was look at the source. However, thsi wouldn't surprise me if they pushed this crud through in legislative form.
gnull
Greg Null 0
This is why I do not read the squawk/headlines section of FLightaware.
chicoaggie
Tim Smith 0
Then how did you know what and how to respond with your statement? Seems to me like some reading was actually done.
THRUSTT
THRUSTT 0
His "friend" probably told him about it...
jimquinndallas
Jim Quinn 0
With the current administration I wouldn't put it past some of them to push for some similar legislation. The next thing would be to prosecute aircrews posthumously...
Bcap
Bcap 0
Wow, some of you all take this too seriously! It's the Onion! Thanks for the post!
HunterTS4
Toby Sharp 0
......just be sure not to make this headline and you are all good
onceastudentpilot
hmmmmm.....rubbish
Boatinman
Boatinman 0
Looks like someone forgot to inform the pilots of that LOT 767 about this..
racerman
it looks like if you crash, you should hope you kill yourself so you won't have to face the music for violating the no-crash rule. I suppose there will be a lot of people quit flying if they find out it's against the law to crash.

I wonder if they could make the same rule for driving a car.
sheka
mark tufts 0
i wonder what the faa would do if there were a bird strike or hydrolic failurs i hope the faa realizes thei no crash ban is a bunch of crap
chicoaggie
Tim Smith 0
It's about dern time they ban plane crashes. Over a century of flight and countless crashes and finally they try to put a stop to this. I can only wish that NATO looks at what the FAA is doing and puts a ban on wars.


Can't believe there are people out there that think this article is real and/or not funny.
grinch59
Gene Nowak 0
Is this stupidity really newsworthy?
Waleishola03
Wale Ishola 0
It's the onion
navydoc192
Really? This is news?
Skye777
Skye777 0
A good laugh is the best way to start the day!
Pecolaguy
Pecolaguy 0
Gotta laugh at that one.
dalebr99
Dale Brown 0
If I wanted to read crap like this I would go to the onion
bigjulie
A whole lot of people take life too seriously, they need to lighten up, they should try a bit of LOL, who knows, they might even enjoy life a bit more instead of being so serious & giving themselves ulcers!
papatodd427
Todd Marks 0
Wow. That whushing sound you hear is this article flying over everyone's head. While it may not be "news it was a great read. Thanks for sharing.
2343
ray jones 0
that is just about the mentality of the FAA. They are more concerned about policy making than safety issues, for example the pappy's at KPBX why haven't they flown them so they can be brought back on line> Landing there at night is like flying into a black hole,, The papy's have been redone for about 3 weeks.

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